Frequently Asked Questions the Triestine Way

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Cartoon courtesy of Charlotte Phillips
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by In Trieste

Local TV station Telequattro ventured into uncharted waters and answered questions of confused about pandemic rules Triestini, live.

Not only did the questions regard delicate topics, but some were curiously inquisitive. Nevertheless, the talkshow hosts answered all of them without missing a beat.

Here’s what the callers asked (in a Triestine dialect).

“Can I take my two friends up in Carso? I am the only one who has a car. We are not cohabitating so I was thinking about sitting one in an oblique way…”

“Did you say oblique?”

“And then just covering the other one with an umbrella. I mean if it protects from the rain, it must protect from the virus, right?”

“Errrr”

Or

“So we have a two-seater and I was wondering if my husband and I could go to Lignano?”

“I don’t see why not. Do you live together?”

“Well yes, he is my husband, I go to bed with him.”

“That is your choice.”

And

“It’s a delicate issue but I am going to go ahead and inquire anyway.”

“Ok…”

“So I was wondering if we are to remain “calm” during the pandemic or do you think I could have sex with my husband?”

“Well, I mean… I don’t see how that would be a problem… I believe you can proceed calmly …”

“Yes?”

“Of course the adverb calmly could be reinterpreted…”

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