by MK
Just in time for your summer vacation in our beautiful city by the Adriatic, here’s a guide to experiencing Trieste like a true local. Well, almost.
Getting Here: Yes, flying into Venice is cheaper than flying into our backwoods Trieste airport. Yes, it will take you two hours to get here and it will seem like Trieste is completely isolated from the rest of Italy. It is.
Where to Stay: Make sure not to come during Barcolana week when all of a sudden our faraway gem turns into Côte d’Azur (with similar prices for a weekend in October). Other than that, anywhere is good as long as you stay away from seagulls during lunchtime, dinners and aperitivi en plein air.
Learning the Language: Some phrases you may find helpful include “Come xe?,” “Bel mulo/mula!”, “Gavemo spritz bianco?,” and “Xe mona .” For the real Trieste experience, make sure to go to your neighborhood bar and complain about the local government the whole time you’re there. Don’t forget to gesture excessively.
Getting Around: When I first moved to Trieste, I assumed that driving here was horrible and everyone walked. Now I know that the Trieste has its own set of driving rules, speed limit is optional (as well as blinkers, stopping for pedestrians or parking in the actual parking spot) and everyone drives. Especially when you need to get to Barcola and back for that toc.
When in Doubt, Use Google Maps: Don’t worry—looking at Google Maps does not make you seem like a tourist. When I still can’t find that little street behind that small piazza that used to be called something else during the Habsburg monarchy (because, as you know, in Trieste we are part Austrian-Hungarian, part Friulan and part de fora), I complain. What could possibly be more Trieste than that?
Excercising: Go up salita Promontorio. Repeat two times. Now go up via Commerciale. Repeat two times. Go up and down Scala Santa three times. Ok, your hot summer bod is ready.
Beaches: Want to be naked? Go to Costa dei Barbari. Want to get away from annoying male (or female) friends while chatting topless in the burning sun? Pedocin is your destination. Want to feel the hardness of concrete under your beach towel? Look no further than Barcola.
Fine Dining: Option One: osmiza (if you’ve never heard of an osmiza, what are you even doing here?). Option Two: go get the same brioche and capo-in-b every morning until the person who sells it to you knows all the details of your life well enough to suggest you leave Trieste now and never come back. Option Three: have a rebechin (Note: Option Three only works if at least one of the people in your dinner party enjoys day drinking.)
Find Friendly Locals: Yes, they exist. No, most don’t like talking to strangers. But I’ve lived in Trieste for almost five years, and the only time I feel like a real Triestina is when I’m giving tourists directions to something that is literally one block away. Prego! Benbon.
Instructively funny!