Blend In Like a True Triestino – Part 2

by Alessandra Ressa

If you’ve mastered our first set of tips on becoming a true Triestino, this second collection of practical advice is here to help you fully blend in. Remember, becoming a true Triestino isn’t an easy task—it demands motivation, dedication, and plenty of practice. Keep repeating to yourself: “I can do it!”

1. Act Grumpy
   Triestini are famously grumpy on all occasions. In Trieste, grumpiness is fashionable—the grumpier you are, the more popular you’ll become. Practice your grumpiest expression in the mirror every morning and keep it on until bedtime. Be grumpy at the supermarket, waiting for the bus, at work, when strangers ask for directions, while standing in line at public offices, and especially while driving. If you crack even a slight smile, you’ll immediately expose yourself as an impostor.
   
2. Complain About Everything
   Mastering this skill starts with perfecting your grumpy attitude. Complaints about the weather are a must—it’s always too hot, too cold, too windy, too foggy, too rainy, or just too predictable. Never admit to being happy with the weather; it’s a weakness you can’t afford. Politics is another favorite topic—regardless of your stance, make sure to end every complaint with “Se stava meio co iera l’Austria” (Things were better under Austrian rule). Other acceptable grievances include traffic, immigration, public transportation, children, hair stylists, doctors, and, occasionally, relatives.
   
3. Wear a Heavy Coat From September to June
   Triestini eagerly await the arrival of their winter wardrobe—especially puffy coats—regardless of the actual temperature. Even if it’s 30°C in mid-September, you’ll spot elderly ladies in vintage furs and younger generations in woolen scarves and down jackets. This practice stems from the fear of the dreaded “colpo d’aria” (draft). Dressing your children like Arctic explorers for even short distances is a rite of passage. Avoid being caught in summer attire between September and June, or your cover will be blown. Bonus tip: the scent of mothballs is a hallmark of winter wardrobes in Trieste, especially in theaters, buses, and cafés.
   
4. Get a Dog
   Owning a dog is practically a prerequisite for being a Triestino. With around 50,000 dogs for a population of 180,000, they’re everywhere—sniffing in supermarkets, sitting on café chairs, and even joining owners at work. If you don’t own a dog, consider renting one. It’s a great way to engage with locals, as most conversations in Trieste revolve around dogs. Remember to talk to your dog while walking—it’s not seen as eccentric but as a sign of civility.
   
5. Take Up a Sport (and Do It Obsessively)
   Triestini go all in when it comes to hobbies, especially sports. They’ll spend multiple salaries on top-tier equipment and devote every free moment to their chosen activity. Whether it’s running, cycling, or windsurfing, immerse yourself fully, find a club, and prepare to say goodbye to your social life—sports always come first.
   
6. Magnar e Benzina in Jugo (Eat and Buy Gasoline in Slovenia)
   Despite the dissolution of Yugoslavia over 30 years ago, Triestini still fondly refer to Slovenia as “Jugo.” In the past, trips across the border were motivated by cheaper gasoline and meals. Although prices have since leveled out, the tradition persists. Join the weekend rush to Slovenian gas stations and restaurants—it’s an authentic Triestino experience.
   
7. Se Stava Meio co Iera l’Austria
   No Triestino conversation is complete without nostalgic musings about the Austro-Hungarian Empire. Memorize and regularly use the phrase “Se stava meio co iera l’Austria” to express this sentiment. It’s particularly useful during complaints and is guaranteed to earn you the respect of even the grumpiest locals.
   
8. Visit the Hairdresser or Barber (Constantly)
   In Trieste, perfectly styled hair is non-negotiable. Many locals visit the salon multiple times a week—no special occasion required. Ladies, in particular, won’t hesitate to comment on their hair (or yours) at any opportunity. With more salons than cafés in the city, staying well-coiffed is part of the culture. Plus, it’s a great place to practice your newfound Triestino habits, including complaining about the hairdresser once the job is done.

We hope these additional tips help you on your journey to becoming a true Triestino. Good luck, and remember to stay grumpy!